I had the best dream the other night
When Jimmy passed away (can you believe it's been over 22 years?) I often had dreams that he was still alive at the hospital and I had to go get him and sneak him out because they wouldn't let me keep him. The dreams were bitter sweet because even though in my dreams I was with Jimmy again, I always woke up without him. Similarly, when Mom passed I dreamt of seeing her, talking to her on the phone, at convention events... and while waking didn't bring the same heartache, I still felt a little lonely. Anyway, it's been a long time since I've had a dream about Mom, and longer still by far since I've had a Jimmy dream. However, the other night I had the kind of dream that was free of sadness or any sense of loss. The time frame was right now, but Mom was still very much alive, and in fact we lived together. Jimmy was also alive - but still 3 years old - and had been living for years at an institution that taught children with disabilities how to mainstream. I hadn't seen him in years (a condition of the school) and decided to go and get him, take him by force if I had to, so he could come home and be with me. So, Mom was my support who stayed home and got things ready, and either Alex or Desi came with me to confront the people at the school. I was worried that Jimmy wouldn't know me, or maybe he'd be indifferent to who I was because it had been so long, but as soon as I walked on the grounds Jimmy saw me from across the play yard and just started running to me with a huge smile on his face. He jumped right into my arms and we both were so happy. The school had no choice but to let him leave with me, and I was able to tell Mom we were on our way before I woke up. The big difference was that I awoke with a sense of happiness for being with loved ones instead of saddness for losing them again. It was a great morning. I don't want to jinx it by hoping for another like it soon, but if and when I do have another dream like that I know it will signal another good day.
When Jimmy passed away (can you believe it's been over 22 years?) I often had dreams that he was still alive at the hospital and I had to go get him and sneak him out because they wouldn't let me keep him. The dreams were bitter sweet because even though in my dreams I was with Jimmy again, I always woke up without him. Similarly, when Mom passed I dreamt of seeing her, talking to her on the phone, at convention events... and while waking didn't bring the same heartache, I still felt a little lonely. Anyway, it's been a long time since I've had a dream about Mom, and longer still by far since I've had a Jimmy dream. However, the other night I had the kind of dream that was free of sadness or any sense of loss. The time frame was right now, but Mom was still very much alive, and in fact we lived together. Jimmy was also alive - but still 3 years old - and had been living for years at an institution that taught children with disabilities how to mainstream. I hadn't seen him in years (a condition of the school) and decided to go and get him, take him by force if I had to, so he could come home and be with me. So, Mom was my support who stayed home and got things ready, and either Alex or Desi came with me to confront the people at the school. I was worried that Jimmy wouldn't know me, or maybe he'd be indifferent to who I was because it had been so long, but as soon as I walked on the grounds Jimmy saw me from across the play yard and just started running to me with a huge smile on his face. He jumped right into my arms and we both were so happy. The school had no choice but to let him leave with me, and I was able to tell Mom we were on our way before I woke up. The big difference was that I awoke with a sense of happiness for being with loved ones instead of saddness for losing them again. It was a great morning. I don't want to jinx it by hoping for another like it soon, but if and when I do have another dream like that I know it will signal another good day.
Both of these objects are favorites of mine. The antique Curious George and my gaurdian Gargoyle. I guess this shows a huge spectrum of my tastes.
2 comments:
Wow Saucy,
amazing dream! I often have dreams set in the current time frame, but my kids will still be little, and either mom or dad will be there helping me or I will be helping them somehow. Interestingly enough, a lot of them have the old Dudley house as the setting. Enjoy the good feelings - the happiness you woke up with is definitely a treasure sent to you from your angels!
-Ren
sauce, your imagery is wonderful. ironically , last night i had a dream that i was organizing a birthday party for mom. it was a pre-cancer mom, and i had balloons and volleyball set up on the front lawn of mom's house. i sure miss her, but i am lucky i still have wonderful sisters.
loves ya to pieces .
mona
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